Arrange marriage...the family choice.

Many typical himalayan wants to marry a man from well acustomed family...own lots of jeweleries and have status in the society. Be helpful to the in law family and basically have a happy family. Have children and all those family thing. But the sad thing is that they tends to give up on their own dream...sometimes even on the guy that they love initially. If i were not educated, i would be doing the same thing...but im so fortunate to have family that set education as the highest priority. I am not pointing out these all as negative, but just wanted to express my feelings as a women grown up in the highly restricted culture, where arrange marriage is the most important thing when it comes to marriage. Even being educated girl, i am not objecting arrange marraige, but still i think girl should at least have some right or choice in selecting their life partner. The most important thing is to get marry when you are really ready to make that commitment, as for me I take marriage as a committment. So, its interesting to see that arrange marriage still exist and it tends to have long lasting relationship...and the love tends to grow after...Even my brother got arrange marriage when he already had a girl of his dream...But due to all the family dramas, he end up getting arrange marriage and now he thinks he is the most lucky husband...

My brother and his wife...

Why is it so complicated to take a next step when you are bound with family value system?

In my point of view, its just the way we are brought up. We tends to look back often than what lies ahead of us. Especially coming from conservative and strong cultural background, we always think about others more often than ourselves. For example, if we want to do something, first thing that comes to mind is what will other think about it or how they will perceive it. We care more about family values, prestige, cultural, background, etc. Why it is hard to follow own will and just not to think about others. Even we know we can do it, but still there is a instinct that does not allow us to do. In some cases, I appreciate what we are doing does not affect anything and It brings happiness in the family...but still there are certain things that just keep us back...in doing things that are fun sometimes....like hangingout with friends, wearing fancy clothes, having different views about things...overall more open minded...I tell people that im open minded but somewhat i feel like im not in certain thing...LOL